Yesterday I bought a new pair of dagging shears - very exciting ! and since I am not usually known for a clear calm think through I immediately went straight out to put them to the test . The intended victim was Acantha , who although less than a year , has a very large fleece and the ability to find any small twig or piece of bramble to entwine into it , the result is quite often an inability to go to the loo cleanly , and since I was beginning to smell her before I could see her , drastic action was required - hence the dagging shears . Anyway , off I strolled to the paddock , rounded everyone up and took them into the catch pen , and then the fun began . I caught Acantha quite easily , but her mum ,Veronica , looked pretty angry with me . I wheedled and tried to distract her , but to no avail - A huge mouthful of spit hit me right in the side of my head ! I ducked and dodged and tried to hold on to Acantha , but I was gradually covered from head to foot in progressively more pungent mouthfuls of spit !! .Eventually I admitted defeat , and moved Acantha to an area where mum couldn't reach me and finished the job .
Then , dripping in this foul stuff ( regurgitated grass is truly foul ) I went into the house and threw all my clothes straight into the washing machine - I was damp down to my underwear , so powerful was the spit . Anyway , 30 mins later the wash was finished and I pulled it out only to find I had put a pretty expensive jumper which I was wearing through out , on the wrong wash and managed to shrink it to a size even too small for my 4 yr old - I was mad at myself and the rest of the family died laughing !!!
Then today , to compound my stupidity , I had the vet to visit , the visit was valid - a problem breeding Hermione successfully . It was suggested that I have her hymen examined to see if it was still intact - it was ! So the vet had to break it . Whilst this was happening I was chatting inanely at the head end , as you do , and happened to say ' Don't you need a special piece of equipment to do this ?' cue slightly quizzical look from vet , and so I added ' I'm sure it said in my email from Claire to get her hymen digitally broken ' ever had that feeling as you said something that you had just revealed yourself to be a complete fool ?- I compounded it by giving a vague description of a probe with some sort of laser effect , by which time her hymen was no longer intact and I am confirmed as a complete idiot !!